Planning a funeral is often something you’d rather not think about, and fair enough, because even the word itself can bring up sad associations. That might include oss, decisions, awkward logistics, and probably some family tension on top of it all. Of course, that’s before you even get into the actual steps, such as paperwork, venues, who’s meant to say what, and where the flowers go, which makes everything feel all the more real. No one wants to admit a funeral is needed, but we’re all probably going to plan or contribute to at least one in our lives.
Thankfully, the process isn’t so complex; it just feels that way because no one really talks about it until it’s right in front of them. If your loved one is elderly and planning their final arrangements, or if you want to have your wishes known well in advance, that can be wise. It doesn’t have to feel so scary or complex to go through it.
Let’s discuss how to make this process more manageable from an emotional perspective:
You Don’t Need To Know Everything Right Away
No funeral service will suggest that you’re supposed to be an expert in all of this, and nobody expects you to be. You need someone to walk you through it, and talking to an official representative of a service about package options, traditions, or where traditions can be broken easily is a good idea. Sometimes you may speak to someone who’s done it before, getting the tone right, seeing what feels like your preference as opposed to anyone else’s. The hardest part is starting, but once you talk to the right people, you see that this process is surmountable.
Keep The Practical Bits Simple
You may be surprised just how easy some of the planning elements are. These are just parts of the day, and they can be adjusted to suit whatever feels right. If you’re looking at a funeral car, for example, it doesn’t need to be traditional unless that fits. There’s more flexibility than people realise. The main approach is to be respectful and to understand why a specific plan has been designed that way, or is the most common option. So, a hearse that can fit in a full coffin with beautiful flowers as you approach a Church, for example, can be a lovely experience. The more you strip it back to what’s actually essential, the less weight the rest of it holds.
Don’t Try To Perfect The Day
There’s no perfect version of a funeral. Some parts might feel a bit messy, and some might say the wrong thing or forget the order of service, but it still means something because people showed up and they want to pay their respects. That’s what is most important, and so try to plan the event around that, perhaps having enough capacity for friends or a smaller private meeting just for family. So don’t try to design a perfect day like a military operation; aim for a real one. That’ll give you room to grieve yourself, without worrying so much about the ideal process.
With this advice, we hope you can see that funeral planning doesn’t have to be scary or complex.
